Work etiquette

Tonight there is a work do that myself and my fellow Handbaggers are due to attend. There will of course be the obligatory free wine.

Now I know I should be good, maybe having just one or two glasses as I will be representing work and I don't want any embarrassing stories to be circulating about what She did at the 'do ...

However I am thirsty.
There will be wine.
I like wine.

Arse, I just know I'm going to get pissed;)

Pah!

Hmmm this morning I experienced the delights of breakfast at Benjys. Normally avoid the place after various rumours of friends suffering various forms of food poisoning but hey am broke at the moment and fancied a cheap breakfast.

I eagerly selected the delightful sounding low fat greek yoghurt with mango and blueberries. When I returned to my desk, I discovered that in fact I had purchased orange pulp layered with white froth - hey I don't know what it was but it certainly wasn't yoghurt; Greek, low fat, or otherwise:( - and 3 blueberries. It also came complete with a plastic spoon which unbeknownst to me had a razor sharp ragged edge which has now cut the inside of my mouth.

This is not going to be a good day.

Three things

The good ... I am enjoying a punnet of the world's largest cherries! There are two varieties: Bing and Rainier, wich has sparked a Handbaggers debate as to which is which.

The bad ... one of my 'co-workers' has called me a slut for wandering around the office barefoot. I mean its not like I'm wandering around without pants!

and the ugly ... have decided aforementioned 'slut feet' are vile. Am frantically trying to squeeze them into a pair of slinky sandals for the wedding and none fit, feel like one of the ugly sisters. Beginning to suspect that hobbit feet have been secretly grafted onto my legs in the middle of the night.

drinks roll call

Last night, which I can only describe as an epic bender, I consumed about 5000 drinks. Said drinks were a combination of:

Pinot Grigio
Pimms & Lemonade
JD and coke
Vodka and redbull
southern comfort and lemonade

And those are only the ones I can remember.

I should bottle my wee and market it as a cocktail ;)

Enough ...

... have been more productive in the hour than the last two days combined. Am now fed up of everyones demands for their pound of flesh (oh if only it were true then how skinny I would be) so am giving up on work and going to abandon plan of shopping for wedding shoes and go for a glass of wine instead as the thirst is upon me. For company is one of my work colleagues who today is inexplicably sporting some nifty girl scout/lederhosen chic complete with toolbelt ... seeing as I'm wearing my billowing Jedi blouse with Tom Sawyer-esque jeans I'm sure we'll cut a dash at the local bar. Fabarama.

The folly of table service

Recently the Handbaggers were forced to abandon their usual bottle (or three) ritual down the local bar as all the tables were full (personally can't be arsed to stand and drink these days) and so we ventured further afield ... well 20m to be precise to a cocktail and wine bar.

Delight of delights not only did we secure ourselves a table we were also treated to complimentary table service. Unfortunately this turned out to be somewhat problematic ... there we were in mid grumbling when the first bottle of wine was sunk and no sooner were our glasses without than an attentive waitress hovered at my elbow to readily furnish us with another bottle. How marvellous.

Then the second bottle was sunk and we were only mid rant so we acquired a third, mid slur a magical fourth bottle appeared. After this point I lost count but the wine slowly increased whilst the Handbaggers decreased until there were only two of us left ... and yet my compadre kept yelling 'More wine' and foolishly I agreed;)

Then it became apparent that it was time to leave ... I thought I had had a drink but was not drunk but as I stood up I realised the error of my ways as I discovered that all coordination and function had left my body as I lurched off in the direction of my bus ... and the hour long journey home.

Now I realise that table service is a bad thing. The long stumble to the bar, the attempts (and random gestures) to make your requests understandable to the bar staff, the carrying of the wine bucket back to the table are all hurdles designed to ensure you are capable of imbibing more alcohol. If you can't manage these simple steps then its time to go home.

unoaked chardonnay

So much better than its lumbering oaked relative. Lighter and dangerously quaffable - as I discovered when a stalwartly non wine drinking acquaintance of mine tucked in to a bottle from SE Australia over the weekend and finally realised that wine isn't Satan's urine after all. Naturally, it was balanced... and medium length, as ever ;)

hurray!

Welcome to We Love Wine, so called because, well, we do.

Why vodka and redbull is a bad idea

For reasons unknown there is a crate load of redbull in my office. When one of my colleagues was offered a can, he politely declined as he's a vegetarian ... what the bloody hell is in that stuff? Real bulls???
So wrong x